Weezer
Make Believe
On Sale Now
For $11.38

During one of Make Believe’s better, catchier tracks, “This Is Such A Pity,” lead singer Rivers Cuomo asks, “How did things get so bad?” That’s precisely what I was thinking while listening to the duration of Weezer’s latest. Their debut Blue Album has a special place in my heart and of course the follow-up, Pinkerton, has been cited as one of the archetypes for the now scalded emo sound. That record was a painful listen because Rivers sounded as if he was drunkenly honest (or honestly drunk) when composing each track and the lack of glossy production was a benefit. But those bouts of captivating candor seem to have been chucked in favor of prolonging commercial appeal. Now Rivers and crew sound artificial and bored. I can openly admit that I have a penchant for songwriters who wear their heart on their forehead, but there’s a fine line between being cloyingly Hallmark hokey and achingly sincere. Make Believe unfortunately falls more into the former category, veering toward the category of boy band at the expense of stadium rock ensemble.

Weezer have been a short, steady decline since their comeback Green Album which may have had some sugar-coated pop hits like “Island In The Sun,” but nothing more in terms of substance. Even worse was the record that soon followed, Maladroit, with its penchant for over-the-top guitar solos and chunky riffs that buried Cuomo’s god-awful lyrics, most of which I cannot believe made the final cut. Example: “Cheese smells so good/on a burnt piece of lamb/fag of the year/who could beat up your man.” It’s not that I expect poetry from Rivers, but there’s no justifying something along those lines even in the name of reverence to dumb, drumstick twirling metal. Unfortunately, Make Believe only continues the deterioration. What was once a good by-the-numbers singles band has eroded into whiny little poseurs who can hardly conjure up anything but a melodic chorus. There’s very little to distinguish the latest from Weezer from a mediocre band like Jimmy Eat World as if they inelegantly conformed into the bands that they influenced.

First single “Beverly Hills” even has the audacity to ripoff its central chord structure from their first hit “Undone (The Sweater Song)” even if it’s tuned down a half step. The song itself much like “Hash Pipe”, favors dumbed down shout-outs and comes out sounding like something that resembles 80s radio pop. Too much of Make Believe is casually unremarkable and phlegmatic when Weezer are usually the exact opposite. Even the sense of humor is missing. They just slap together a few chords; hook, line, sinker and they’ve got a song. There’s nothing relevant or memorable behind the tired style, labored mid-tempo beats and all. Cuomo may be incapable of writing a memorable, earnest song that derives from his publicized dysfunction anymore, but here he has stab at penning a batch that are painfully mediocre. “We Are All On Drugs” is more Nyquil than ecstasy while “Pardon Me” – an apology to everyone Rivers has wronged is just unembellished and lifeless, complete with Stuart Smalley declarations of “So I apologize to you/And to anyone else that I hurt too/I may not be a perfect soul/But I can learn self-control.” I believe if you check my love letter poems from junior high, you might find similar prose.

The earlier records contained a genuine sense of dynamics and a lack of posturing with occasional interruptions and insanely memorable hooks that were often copious within the same song. But sadly, that magic has dissipated for something more conventional and trite. Much like the Green Album and Maladroit, Make Believe is lacking personality, and its elimination of any sort of explosive commotion -- feedback, dissonance, good lyrics -- only inflicts more damage and will ultimately disappoint even the most avid fan.

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